Some people may say September is too early to publish a year-end best albums list. Especially since it won’t give me a chance to properly digest the September wave of pretentious albums that seems to happen every year. Be that as it may, here’s 10 albums from 2023 that have been particularly tasty. We’re 3/4 of the way through 2023, so I’m rounding up to the end the year. And if you don’t like it I say: Das ist mir völlig Wurst (google it or, better yet, ask a Kraut what it means, you un-cultured plebeian). Without further ado, here is my unofficial official top ten albums of 2023.

10. Oromet, Oromet

Funeral Doom is a pretty niche sub-genre. Characterized by slow-tempos, low vocals, and an overal dirgey atmosphere, Funeral Doom Metal can be described as pallbearers moving like snails through molasses as Gollum from the 1977 Rankin/Bass animated feature film The Hobbit sound-checks a microphone. With all of that in mind, the Sacramento CA duo OROMET managed to produce a captivating debut album which takes the listener on a slow-&-low journey up and down a monstrous musical mountain. There are no tricks or turns here. Just 3 songs running for 43 minutes of darn good, gothy, depressing, Funeral Doom. Give it a try and tell me what you think.

9. Majesties, Vast Reaches Unclaimed

This year saw Minneapolis MN Melodic Death Metal band MAJESTIES finally put out its first album (the band has been around since 2016). With my list going from one debut album to another, that technically makes MAJESTIES the recipients of Gorn’s best new artist award. Hooray! If you’re reading this, give yourselves a pat on the stud-encrusted backs, guys. Vast Reaches Unclaimed is a medieval jousting tournament of tight Melodic Death Metal. This comes as no surprise given that several of MAJESTIES’ members also play in the Medieval Black Metal band OBSEQUIAE. Vocalist Tanner Anderson gives a wraithlike performance and twin-lead guitarists, the aforementioned Anderson and Carl Skildum, deliver majestic (pun intended) guitar tracks reminiscent of early In Flames, making this album a joy to listen to for any sane fan of Melodic Death Metal.

8. Sworn, A Journey Told Through Fire

“Come! Inferno, come!
Bring your dread sorrows and flames
To drain what strength in me remains
And I shall recall my journey told through fire”

Now we are going from Melodic Death Metal to its cooler older brother Melodic Black Metal (I didn’t plan for it to be this way). A Journey Told Through Fire is the fourth studio album by Norwegian band SWORN and it is the first of its LPs to grace the auditory sensory parts of the Gorn. It’s a solid work of art with song lengths ranging from 6 to 9 minutes (nice). Many of the songs prompt the listener to imagine oneself ahorse a black stallion galloping across realms of extreme climates. Be that the inferno of 79 AD Pompeii or a frozen fantasy wasteland like the dude on the album cover for Dissection’s Storm of the Light’s Bane. For an album titled A Journey Told Through Fire it is a very cold piece of Melodic Black Metal, and the best of the year in that sub-genre.

7. Currents, The Death We Seek

Hitherto this entry the list has been “trve” and even “kvlt”. Well it’s time for some controversial un-trve choices. And if these next 2 or 3 albums lose the Gorn elitist points, I say: Das ist mir völlig Wurst (I know you didn’t learn the meaning yet, you lazy chimpanzee).

For about a decade CURRENTS (Newton CN) have been slinging out the best blend of Metalcore and Djent I have ever heard, and this album is a continuation of that. The Death We Seek rivals 2020’s The Way It Ends as the best CURRENTS album. It’s a great experience to go on a long jog with this album or max out on bench press, whilst properly taking 10 minutes between sets in order to head-bob to the groovy Djent sections or meditate to the melodic Metalcore choruses if that’s more your thing. With its guitar solo into the final chorus of the LP, “Guide Us Home” is the chef’s kiss of The Death We Seek. As a big djent-head I am eager to hear what CURRENTS pumps out next.

6. Rise of the Northstar, Showdown

The French Nu-Metal/Hardcore band RISE OF THE NORTHSTAR (ROTNS) rises above other scene bands with the release of its third LP Showdown. ROTNS is what I call “Shredder Metal.” Not because the band’s guitarist shreds, but because their getup looks like it was taken from Shredder, the bad guy in Ninja Turtles. Like many Nu-Metal bands, these Franks have Hip-Hop influences, track suites, and stage names (Vithia, Eva-B, Air One, Yoru and Phantom). They also seem to have a totally normal, not weird at all, interest in Japanese anime. Not to the same blatant extent as does MORBID GORGEOUS GIRL, but it is noticeable. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but whenever I see a grown man really into anime… let’s just say it’s at-best cringe. It’s okay to be cringe. That being sad, the album pretty much slaps from start to finish. The fast parts are a lot like Slipknot or Confess (Iran/Norway), and the slow parts sound like Hatebreed with more rapping. Showdown is both a nostalgic and refreshing album in the Nu-Metal genre. I really appreciate the fluent use of group vocals. We have yet another solid 35 minutes of gym music. So blast this album, through on a flat-billed hat and get to pumping iron and flexing in the mirror samurai-style.

5. Frozen Soul, Glacial Domination

Here’s a band that got a lot of buzz from the hardcore/death metal community with the release of its debut album Crypt of Ice in 2021. FROZEN SOUL continues to gain momentum with its latest effort Glacial Domination. This Texas quintet plays very hook-driven “cold school death” reminiscent of classic bands like Obituary or Bolt Thrower. There are seldom any surprises or interesting compositions on this album. It is straight-to-the-point, pit-inducing death metal. One should classify this style as the McDonald’s French Fries of death metal; you know what you’re getting every time, you know it’s bad for you, yet you eat it all up and feel ashamed afterwards, if not a little slower. The minimal growth Glacial Domination offers in comparison to its predecessor comes from collaborating with Texas Electronic/Darkwave artist GOST, whom provided John Carpenter-esque ambience throughout much of the album (if you are a fan of that, check out Exhumed Information by Italian BDM band FULCI). Album highlights include “Invisible Tormentor,” “Arsenal of War,” and “Frozen Soul.” Even if it sounds like I’m trashing this album’s simplicity, the simplicity is actually what I like about. It’s very good music for going on auto-pilot mode and doing mundane tasks, as well as of course, having a toxic waltz with friends.

4. Urfaust, Untergang

Never to pass on a chance to reference baseball, I would describe URFAUST as an ace pitching curveballs, knucklers, circle-changes and the occasional spit-ball within in the context of what we call black metal. The batter (AKA the listener) has somewhat of an idea of what to expect from the scouting report, but this is not the typical fast-ball, slider, cutter arsenal with which many black metal bands, er uh, pitchers are equipped. To put it plainly, Urfaust ain’t always a blastbeat/tremolo picking band. As with much of its discography, Untergang is more than black metal, it is black metal enriched with the unique “Urfaustian” nutrients. Take this album with you on a slow nature walk and it will be quite an atmospheric experience. Untergang is a very repetitive album, but in a meditative way comparable to the classic Burzum album Filosofem. It is a classically badly produced work of art, which suites the genre well. Untergang is a more-than-satisfying end to the 20 year career of one of the truly great black metal bands.

3. Queens of the Stone Age, In Times New Roman…

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE (QOTSA) is back in full force with yet another Alternative Rock instant-classic. In Times New Roman is a fresh take on QOTSA’s unique brand of Alternative Metal/Stoner Rock heard on albums like Rated R and Lullabies to Paralyze. It is both familiar and modern; which makes it standout from the more progressive rock-leaning sound of the last two QOTSA albums Like Clockwork and Villains. All in all it is a quality addition to an already impressive catalogue and a tasty bit of red meat for any die-hard QOTSA fan such as the Gorn himself.

2. Kanonenfieber, Live at the Dark Easter Metal Meeting

German melodic blackened death metal band KANONENFIEBER came out of the trenches and onto the stage in Munich for its second LP and first live album (making it the first live album to appear a Gorn year-end best of list, and technically Best Live Album of the Year (Hooray!)). Along with a live video of the concert, Live at the Dark Easter Metal Meeting dropped this summer. The album features 8 songs in total, drawn from the LP Menschenmühle and its follow-up EPs Yankee Division and Der Füsilier. If you’re a fan of black metal and WWI history, you should certainly check out this album and all of KANONENFIEBER for that matter.

1. Ahab, The Coral Tombs

I started this list with Funeral Doom and it turns out that is what I am ending it with too. Unlike OROMET’s standard Funeral Doom album, The Coral Tombs is a continuation of the “progification” of AHAB as demonstrated by the German “Nautik Funeral Doom” group’s last two LPs: The Boats of the Glen Carrig and The Giant.  Ripe with both cavernous growls and soft clean vocals, AHAB takes the listener on a momentous plunge 20,000 leagues under the sea with the album opener “Prof. Arronax’ Descent into the Vast Oceans,” which features possibly the first ever blast beat in funeral doom, as well as a ripping vocal performance by guest musician Chris Dark (ULTHA). The next two songs “Colossus of Liquid Graves” and “Mobilis in Mobili” will leave you crushed under the pressure of deep sea guitar riffage. These songs are the two heaviest of the entire album. You will only return to the surface for a breath of oxygen by the start of the fourth track (my personal favorite) “The Sea is a Desert.” This song paints a harrowing portrait of the vastness of the open ocean, an experience one may have while cautiously sailing across seven-tenths of the globe. The title track -another album highlight- reminds one of a ghostly barge slowly drifting across green waters in the midst of a dead wind. This album is yet another masterpiece by one of the all time greatest Funeral Doom bands, adequately reaching the high expectations AHAB have set for themselves and their fans. If The Coral Tombs were a diver in the Olympics, I would give it a perfect 10 rating.

Honorable Mentions

11. Haunt, Golden Arm https://youtu.be/wr4LYM00M8o?si=Ib5JevoqeY24XuOH

The ninth studio album in 6 years by lo-fi Heavy Metal band Haunt (Fresno, CA).

12. Confrontational, CUT https://youtu.be/gjCxq1oLbQA?si=rCgQySybYL9jJMXj

Dark and synthy EDM for fans of early NIN. Great album to sweat to.

13. Marathonmann, Maniac https://youtu.be/p7lNkIxYxcM?si=za2f77que0g_We0h

Marathonmann ist eine Electro/Post-Hardcore band aus München und Maniac ist das beste deutsche Rockalbum des Jahres 2023

14. Bandit, Siege of Self https://youtu.be/1-sm1IDxFxU?si=0BkJaExLWZaYzlcs

Grindcore with some crunchy Meshuggah influence. Check out this cool write up on the album by “JD” https://www.heavyblogisheavy.com/2023/05/12/rotten-to-the-core-may-2023/

15. Nameless Mist, Lifeless https://youtu.be/c6h7y2u0anU?si=VjMFCYcRidXSRYlK

Solo black metal band from Raleigh, NC.

Albums I’m looking forward to

New albums from Baroness, Uada, Marduk, Wolves in the Throne Room, and Primordial to be released this year.