(Warning: gratuitous pseudo-intellectual masturbation) Something Corey Taylor of Slipknot (ugh…I know, but bear with me) said during one of those lame-o history of metal shows on VH1 struck my fancy. …
New Releases and Rumors
I think the latter half of this year is shaping up to be the better half of 2012 in terms of new metal releases. As I mentioned in an earlier…
‘Grim’ Kim Kelly’s NPR Article
Seasoned and well-respected metal writer Kim Kelly recently wrote an article for NPR. The scene is set at Maryland Death Fest while she muses on stereotypes regarding metalheads and also…
No More Mr. Nice Guy
Being that Metal is an international phenomenon that transcends race, class, gender, culture and everything else*, one might think it difficult to really pinpoint common characteristics amongst its brethren. However,…
Attention Metal World: I’m Not A Kid
It’s time to rant, and as a note, a rant deserves to be unrevised and unedited to reflect its immediacy. I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same way…
Old Man Gloom Announce Shows
As a seasoned metal head, I have “geeked out” in an extreme fashion only a handful of times over the last couple of years. This includes “geeking out” from news…
I Just Want to Check In
I know, I know. I have been missing in action for the past couple of months or so. It’s not you, it’s me. Just the normal stuff: contemplating the eternal…
Option Paralysis: It’s Me Or The Drugs!!!
Despite the title, this is not intended to be a post focusing on gossip. A little while ago I pointed out that Greg Puciato of The Dillinger Escape Plan (DEP)…
Greg Puciato: Calculating Infinity…On Drugs
We’ve all been there. You eat a little bit. You tell your friend a few minutes later, “Man, I don’t feel anything.” Your vastly more experienced friend says, “Just chill…
Kvlt Beyond Kvlt
While meandering around on YouTube watching Wolves in the Throne Room interviews, I came upon what I believe to be representative of the unattainable “kvlt beyond kvlt”. Seeing and hearing…
The State of Metal 2011: Judge Dredd’s Dreaded Top 10
I read a quote somewhere on Metal Review that this wasn’t exactly a good year for great metal music, but rather a great year for good metal music, and I…
Music Recommendations for the Open-Minded Metalhead
My friend once told me that he met someone at a show who only listens to Death Metal, but not just that-he only listens to Death Metal that MAKES him…
Most Underrated Metal Albums of the 2000s
The definition of “underrated” is one that is hard to grasp if you don’t have a pre-determined scale that you’re utilizing. In my opinion, the few albums I’ve listed here…
Funnest Live Shows
We go to see bands live for a variety of reasons. We go see bands for the music (obviously), the musicianship, and sometimes just to have a raunchy time. Some…
Finally, The Vikings Are Taking Acid!
Since its advent, one indelible element in metal has always been the musicians’ use (and abuse) of substances. Whether it be Electric Wizard’s or Sleep’s (and essentially the rest of…
Most UnMetal Band Names
I think we can all agree that there are a plethora of utterly ridiculous names for metal bands: Fuck…I’m Dead, Goblin Cock, Cock and Ball Torture, Anal Cunt (R.I.P. Seth…
The State of Metal 2010: Judge Dredd’s Dreaded Top 10
Overall, I unfortunately don’t think this was a very strong year for metal when considering how colossal the last few years of the decade have been as far as supplying…
Deathspell Omega: Les Mystères De Satan
With the release of their newest album, “Paracletus” (“Comforter” or “Holy Spirit” in Greek), Deathspell Omega has completed it’s unholy trilogy of Satanic spiritual awakening which includes albums “Si Monumentum…
Metal Nostradamus: The Shape of Metal to Come
I’ve never portrayed myself as a soothsayer, nor even as a Nostradamus impersonator, but I feel as though I have somewhat of a good prediction of what the next “big…
“Die By the Sword”: Heavy Metal, the ‘Culture of Alienation’, and Hipsters
Arguably, one element of the heavy metal subculture that has allowed it to not only survive but to thrive (albeit, with some droughts) during the several decades it has been…
Judge Dredd’s Top 10 Metal Albums of All Time
I think a good way to introduce ourselves and establish all of our specific tastes in metal by providing the list of our top 10 favorite metal albums of all…